Bombay Jewelry Box

The Mumbai male commitment-phobe speaks

You know the stereotype: the New York man-boy -- conflicted, commitment-phobic and confounding expectations at every turn.

More into his buddies than his baby; happy to be in a relationship as long as the exit chute’s in close proximity; eternally avoiding the BIG question, driving generations of worthy, wonderful, extremely marriageable women mad with anxiety.

Is there any thing to suggest that his Mumbai cousin is reaching the same levels of toxicity?

For the answer to that I take a trip to a South Mumbai jewelry store, my curiosity aroused by the news that Promise Rings have been flying off the shelves.

Yes, the very same accessory that pubescent Hollywood stars have begun to flaunt for paparazzi currently provides the ultimate cop-out for a middle-aged man in Mumbai with promise issues.

A nugget of information from the plethora of websites dedicated to said ring:

"A Promise Ring is generally a pre-engagement ring and whereas in some cases denotes the wearer’s promise of chastity, in others it is given when a man wants to avoid making a long-term commitment after years of dating because he’s still conflicted about settling down and opts for the route of a promise ring to placate his girlfriend."  

Jeweler P, long-term confidante to a claque of Mumbai’s most ferociously well-connected women, enlightens me further.

"My clients are sending their sons to me now,” he says. “But earlier, where it was for engagement rings and wedding bands, the boys now mostly ask for promise rings. I just show them the slightly lesser-priced engagement rings, and they pick one and go away happy."

P smiles laconically, “They’re happy, their girlfriends are happy, and above all their parents are happy.”

A request on Facebook for insights on the sub-species elicits the expected collective groan from my circle of single women friends across age groups.

Rita an attractive 30-something, ad-film executive, with a reputation for being the last one at the bar, in-boxes me almost immediately.

“Hey so much to say, for one they do not make u meet their friends or family, two they refuse to be seen with you in public, just want to hang out with you at your pad, and stay in touch on sms or cell fone and repeatedly tell u they r not ready for a relationship, fool u to stay in it, they may even keep long gaps between sexual encounters.

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